The Tears are Falling- Ann Taylor

My heart feels such pain,
Tell me how to stop my tears.
What can I do to ease the pain?

Why, has life always been so hard,
Showering me with such heavy burdens.

The tears keep falling
As I lay down to sleep.
My eyes wide open,
Flashes of my past,
Of things I lost in my life.

As the tears fall, memories
Floating around in my mind,
Going back in time.
Remembering all the good times
When I had it all.

The tears are falling like a summer rain,
Wishing i could turn back time.
Never thinking one day,there would
Be no you here besides me.

With tears falling down my face,
Knowing there is nothing left

But my memories of time past,
When you were there besides me,
Keeping me safe.
Making all the problems seem small
As you are standing so tall.

No tears of sorrow,
Only love, hope and happiness,
Never thinking of tommorow.

Now as my tears are falling
There is no one here to wipe them away.
Just my hands of loneliness
praying, what to do.

I stare at nothing, trying to decide
Where do I go from here,
Which way do I turn?

The tears are falling, remembering
All the things I took for granted,
Now that all is lost and gone

As i wipe the tears falling down my face,
I look up to the sky and pray.
"Please God, help to show me the way.
Lead me down the right path,
Give me the strength to carry on.

It's so lonely here by myself
With so many things to do.
I need you to give me the faith
To see me through."

The tears have stopped falling.
With God's help I'll figure out
What I need to do.
It may not be the best,
But it will be the best that I can do,
Living my life by myself, without you.

My latest Addiction- (Amor Amor-Arno Elias) Buddha Bar

Life as a Twig

I took a pretty little walk, to do some gardening you know? The grass was green and fresh, I could smell the rain as it hit the scorching black pitch. I got high.

The scenery made me want to cry. Surrounded in greenery, huge lucious trees, a border of bamboo. I feel like...like I could describe anything! No lacking in words, the colours and much rare earth to drown in. The scent so real, so vivid, it's lustre undeniable, glossy shade of green!

I pick the longest twig I could find, sit here ready to devour it. I devour it's life, it's breath, it's colour, it's scent, it's beauty, it's uniqueness.

So much beauty, so much life in a lifeless twig.

I smell it. Smell it's nearness, it's aloneness, it's perfection. It reminds me of fresh salad. Cold, edible, fragile, wilting.

It reminds me of my solitude, my dependability on the living. It brings me face to face with death. Jaws snapping at my flesh, my face...absolute inevitable destruction and everlasting pain.

It reminds me of life. It all begins with the root, soft, wet, fresh, vulnerable. Through the middle, it turns to a delicious green....then a depressing brown..

It's fatness thins out and I encounter a break in the once fertile twig. Shall I break it here? End it's life shortly, swiftly..end all suffering and pain?

Live or DIE! Kill or BE KILLED! Do it or SUFFER! ....It seems these are our choices whether we like it or not.

We lengthen, thin out, wither and thankfull, finally we die....It seems this is life...

...and the precious sweet smelling twig that I hold in my hand!

No where to go for Carnival

I've often wondered at my life..saying "my life sux" doesn't cut it anymore. I'm sitting here and waiting..watching ..thinking it's going to get better someday!..yea..someday!

I wonder if the average 25 year old feels this way.. as though..life is something you feel unprepared for..it's hazy and you seem to be going nowhere fast. You find yourself wishing you were somewhere else..you get irritated at where your at in life and can't wait to get somewhere...but have no idea where!

Well, that's me right now, I wonder if 15 months from now..i'll be where I want to be.. I don't think I will be content...
My art teacher, Mr.Morris once told me the painting I did showed that I feel jailed in..even though I knew it was for my benefit. Like a bird in a guilded cage... It's a lovely looking jail..but a jail nontheless..and is it really for my own benefit?

So I, like some people don't enjoy the crush and bother of Trini Carnival..sue me! But would you pass up the opportunity to go to Tobago for a week..all expenses paid! ...I wouldn't..but I did :(

Now I'm stuck it seems ..at home on Saturday, at home on Sunday, at home on Monday , at home on Tuesday..no wonder I'm blogging!>>shoot me somebody!!!

One of My Favourites by Stan Rice

AESTHETIC THEORY

Contrive a poem out of ears

Tell it

so that it's petals unchocolate

like a brain in a jar.

Wax walnut melting with thought.

Make it a poem almost

lewdly knowledge

ooze, syrup from the punched trunk.

Make it snake up to the molecule whorey

and put it's mouth

atomic against the mouth of it's core.

Pull on it's stem

to expose it's foetus. Make it

have children with sleek ginger jaws.

Make the dogs moan when it passes,

let it out of it's jar.

Make it lie with our corpse, our chaos,

make it huge, evil, enemy of Death.

Put it on paper. Read it. Make surgery

it's sigh, and of such sting.

The Scorpions call it Jehovah & Who.

Make it now before you crap out,

Contrive it, sperm it, stroke it.

Make it efficient, make it fit,

make it more poem that poem-

can survive.

The hype is finally over..where do we stand now?

I was never one for the Christmas season..but I always loved the feeling you get at the beginning of a new year. These days Christmas is all about spending and decorating and who got what. It's depressing to think that God is lost in all that...if getting closer to God is any where important..it's not close to being as important as shopping.

But back to that wonderful feeling of a new year.. It amazes me home quickly the year has ended..but boy am I happy 2008 is over. Sadly, 2008 was one of the worst years for Trinidad and Tobago. The country was centered around doom..a feeling of destruction... and I mean destruction of the economy, destruction of homes and families, destruction of infrastructure , our morals and values..but most of all destruction of our hopes of a bright and happy future for our country.

What I want to know is if all hope is lost for our country...what are we to do next?

I believe hope is what keeps us going, so that we have something to look forward to. Therefore, I want to wish everyone a wonderful year ahead , because I believe that the one thing we should not do is lose hope. I hope that in this year, 2009, we set goals that are important and which can benefit the people around us. Lets start with our families because that's where our problems start. Lets stop breeding criminals and wasteful beings and open our minds to causes for the benefit of humanity.

Lets shake off 2008, put on the brightest smile we can offer, take a deep breath and go out there to do our best..for ourselves and for whomever we can. There's still some hope left for Trinidad and Tobago, but it's up to us to take this country forward. When life throws us lemons...what should we do? Throw it back with all your might and say "I'm not taking that anymore!" I'm saying to fight for your rights dear people, fight for what you believe in and fight to make this nation a better place in 2009. May you all have the most wonderful, sweetest, year ever!